Sex Ed
by CrimsonLoveSong
Summary: Jean is beyond pissed when Marco Bodt, the new kid at Trost High, earns the position that was rightfully his: the starting quarterback. But what happens when he is paired for mock-parenthood with this strange newcomer? More importantly, what are those raging teenaged hormones that they're supposed to be learning about doing to his head? (Also posted on AO3) JeanMarco


Chapter One: Mistake

He approached the Gym door with baited breath. This was it, the final roaster of the Varsity football team, he'd been waiting for this ever since he'd been moved up to varsity his freshman year- the chance to be Jean Kirschtien: starting varsity quarterback, the hero of the school, the one all the scouts would notice, not to mention the one that would get all the ladies.

He was nearly guaranteed the spot, sure Jaegar was good, but he was famed for being the running back of the team. They may not have gotten along, but Jean had to admit, Trost high school did not have a faster set of legs. He ran a hand through his messy, sand-colored hair and drew another shaky breath before he looked first on the second string roaster, his name nowhere in sight, it was a good sign. Without hesitation, his eyes frantically scanned the list of starters until they found #_6 Jean Kirschtien_—Tight End.

Jean shook his head and look the list over again and again, maybe he'd read it wrong, he hadn't played tight end since Hannes had broken his wrist sophomore year. Shaking his head, he decided to look up at the Quarterback position; surely Coach Smith hadn't made the mistake of giving Eren the position of quarterback? The black ink stood out, mocking him. Eren wasn't the quarterback at least, but the roaster mocked him just the same, reading "_Marco Bodt, #7 – Starting Quarterback_". Who the hell was Marco Bodt? He searched his mind, there wasn't anyone with that name in school last year…maybe there was a new senior transferring. There was a new guy at try outs and prospective workouts over the summer, who was tall and hand freckles, but he didn't seem like much competition…besides, the quarterback was supposed to lead the team, how was this Marco guy supposed to lead the team when they didn't know him, let alone respect him.

Jean was so preoccupied with his outrage; he hadn't noticed that the crowd had dissipated. "Ah, Jean! Just the one I was looking for!" Coach Smith's voice sounded from behind him. Maybe he'd come to address his error, he must have been looking for him for a reason, right?

"Sure coach, what do you need?" he said, finally prying himself away from the list, hoping that the scenario playing in his head was what Coach Smith was going to say. He turned to face him only to see the tall, olive-skinned boy with freckles standing beside the coach.

"This is Marco; he just moved here over the summer, he was at summer workouts, if you remember. He's our new starting quarterback, and I was hoping you'd show him around and help him get settled into Trost." It was like pouring salt into his fresh wounds. Not only did this kid take Jean's dream of being starting quarterback, but now he had to be his designated buddy too? The bell rang, signaling students to get to first period. Jean grudgingly snatched Marco's schedule away from him, taking note that they shared first period. Wonderful.

"Yeah, Coach, no problem." He faked a smile before turning back to Marco. "we have health together, follow me." Jean said robotically, not waiting for him to reply, already starting down the hall to his classroom. Marco nearly having to jog to keep up with him, lucky his long legs could catch up with Jean in just a few strides.

"I remember you from summer workouts. You're really good! Maybe we could go running sometime, or my dad got me a gym membership around here, it comes with a few guest passes," he offered up cheerily.

"Look." Jean turned, nearly snarling. "Just because we're on the same team doesn't make us friends. Just because I told coach I'd show you around doesn't mean I have to like you. Okay, so let's get something clear right now. Don't wanna see movies with you or anything, I don't wanna work out with you, we are just going to coexist. Everything will be perfectly fine between us as long as you keep your face, out of my face, got it?"

"If this is about my place as quarterback, you should really consider an ego check." Marco retorted. "We both tried out, and I got the position fairly. It isn't my fault the coach chose me, and I don't intend on changing it to appease a whiney stranger. And if it isn't about me being quarterback, I really don't know what the hell your deal is." He turned on his heel and walked into the classroom, picking a random seat after seeing his name had been overlooked on the teacher's seating chart, receiving a shower of apologies from her when she noticed she'd forgotten the new student.

"Okay class!" Miss Zoe said, sounding way too enthusiastic for eight in the morning, once the remainder of the class had filed in and found their seats. "I know they've pounded in the 'don't do drugs' and the 'eat healthy' sections of the curriculum in your heads since elementary school, so I thought we'd start with an assignment that would actually teach you something!" The class groaned in response. "We all know that those raging teenaged hormones are flowing and so I want to teach you all what could be the consequences of your actions! You're going to be assigned a partner and you'll learn what it's like to be a parent.

"So this is the part where we get some stupid eggs, and then stick them in the fridge or hard boil them until it's time to turn them in." one of the seniors in front muttered, earning a chorus of snickers from the class because of the truth in his statement. "Sorry Sash, if that's the assignment we can't work together, can't risk you eating our young."

"That is a great point Mr. Springer, that is why you aren't getting eggs, you're getting these!" she cheered, holding up a doll. "They're even programmed to cry when they're hungry and such, like real babies! The county is loaning them to us to test how these dolls work with the assignments! Isn't it great?!"

"Absolutely wonderful." Connie muttered sarcastically. Ms. Zoe ignored him and began handing out the partner assignments.

"Well, it looks like we have an odd number of boys and girls, so it looks like Jean, Marco, you'll be a team of dads." She said, handing Marco one of the plastic babies wrapped in a pink blanket. "Congrats! It's a girl!"

"You're joking, right?" Jean stood up. Ms. Zoe shook her head.

"Might I remind you, that your partner will evaluate how much effort you put into this project, and that, along with how you take care of your baby, will determine your grades. And let me say right now, I do not discriminate for football players, so if you're thinking about slacking off, you might find yourself on the bench." She whispered to him before turning to the class. "Well, don't be shy! Go meet your co-parents and name your kids!"

Marco had already adjusted the little pink blanket, causing Jean to roll his eyes as he sat down beside Marco. "Maybe it's fate." Marco laughed. "I swear it's like a cheesy tv-movie. Two people have an argument and boom! Sex Ed partners."

"Whatever."

"I think we should name her Charlotte." Marco ignored him.

"You're actually going to name that thing?" Jean raised an eyebrow.

"I don't see why no—." Marco was cut off by the sound of a baby's cry emitting from the plastic doll, startling the both of them, nearly causing him to drop the doll.

"Holy shit." Jean muttered, blushing a bit when he noticed that others were staring to turn around and stare at them. "Make it stop!"

"I don't know how!" Marco gulped. "Maybe you hurt her feelings."

"See! Just like a real baby!" Ms. Zoe took the doll from Marco, putting a fake baby-bottle up to its lips.

"Looks like we're in this together…" Jean sighed once she handed the doll back.

"You going to be a jerk about that too?" Marco muttered.

"Okay. Look, we're on the same team, and now we have to see each other even more with this screaming plastic baby thing, so why don't we at least attempt to get along. We aren't friends, but we can't win states on the bench, or without working together on the field." Jean sighed.

"Sounds like a plan. As long as we can name her Charlotte Bodt." He smiled.

"No way in hell. Her name is Alice."

"Charlotte." Marco replied, biting back a laugh.

"Alice."

"Whatever."

**A/N: So yeah, for all those not on Ao3, I'm also posting this here  
Reviews are much loved and much appreciated. See you next chapter!**


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